VanJohnson.com

Well, I haven’t been back to work a full month yet but its already feeling like I never really left. Life is back to its crazy pace and I am back to feeling like I have no time anymore. I am trying to make sure I always take some time to reflex and keep things in perspective but besides that life is pretty normal again. It’s hard not to feel like I owe so many people so much where I just don’t know where to start. From work to family and friends, there have been so many people who have done so much for myself and my family.

OK, let’s not get started on that again. My sister has decided to hang out here for awhile and has gotten a job with Bek. It’s really nice having here around and she seems to enjoy being here which is nice. Since I was feeling better, I decided to go through some picture that I hadn’t gotten up on the website yet. I usually go through a process to up load pictures where I resize them all, optimize them for the web, run a small program to make the thumb nail and a few other steps. Well, I had been hearing so much about flickr.com accounts that I decided to give the free service a try and I must say it is working out pretty nicely. It seems very simple to use and I would probably recommend to any of you who would like to share pictures online. You don’t have to have a webpage, you can protect pictures if you don’t want them viewed by the world and a few other cool features. I would think even a pretty novice user would be able to use this. And the real reason I signed up was to get the cool flash badge you see to the right (assuming this article is still on the homepage). Most of the pictures are from before all the health events in my life, some are during and there are a few after (mostly the Disney ones). Hope everyone enjoys them.

While I’m on the topic on free online services, another one I have really gotten addicted to has been del.icio.us. This is a online/social bookmarking site. Being someone who works on many computers in a single day, it’s always been somewhat of a challenge to try and keep my bookmarks in sync. Switching to Firefox helped out to some degree because it offered a plug-in extensions that would sync bookmarks to a central server. (Quick side note, if you haven’t started using Firefox you really should look into it. It does everything Internet Explorer does and much, much more. And it if free. I won’t get too much on this soap box for this posting but will probably re-visit it later But even the Bookmark sync wasn’t a perfect solution. It had to talk to a central server, assuming you had one at your disposal, and sometime it just didn’t work that will.

At first I was a little leery about storing my bookmarks online. My first concerned was, what if I needed my bookmarks and couldn’t get online to get them. That was one of those slap on the forehead moments when I realized that if I couldn’t get online, the chances are I didn’t really need my bookmarks either because I had no internet connection to use them. Now if for some reason you do know of a reason why you might need your bookmarks offline,del.icio.us does offer the ability to export your bookmarks which you can then either keep as a standard HTML file or import them into another browser like Internet Explorer or Firefox. And again, Firefox even has an extension which will go out to your del.icio.us account and sync up your local bookmarks with those stored on your del.icio.us account.

My other concern was the fact that the world can see your bookmarks. This freak me out for the longest time and was the biggest reason I was shying away from using the service. The more I thought about it, the more I was unsure why this concerned me. Bookmarks aren’t exactly secret documents, matter of fact more times than not they link to very public websites. So what did I care if someone was interested in what I considered “Bookmarkable”. As a matter of fact, you are more than welcome to check out my bookmarks on your own, just go to http://del.icio.us/Shocm. As you’ll see, most of them are pretty geek related but there are some other good ones in there. Now there are still those administrative links that I don’t bother to put on del.icio.us and just use the traditional bookmarks for. For the most part however, del.icio.us is the way to go for all my general bookmarking needs and now, as long as I am connected to the internet I will always have my bookmarks. I have found myself using this service everyday.

Well on Monday it is. That’s right, for all those who have been following my progress online; my derailed life has jumped back on track. I have been very low key the past several weeks not posting since chemo ended because I didn’t want to jinx things. Thank my lucky stars ‘m not superstitious, knock on wood, but I had my tests last week and got the results this week. All my numbers look good and no new tumors, so I am released to return to work, which I will do on Monday.

Honestly, I don’t know for sure if this means I am “cancer free” or just in remission but I do know I feel great, better than I have in months, and I am looking forward to getting back into shape. Although, I guess round is considered a shape.

That’s right I am done, at least for now. Finished my last treatment of my last cycle today. I wish that was it, I wish there was a switch that I got to flick that now made me better, but the truth of the matter is this last cycle has taken a lot out of me; one of my excuses for not posting anything in such a long time. But I am done with the treatment so now my body has as much time as it needs to bounce back, and trust me it has a lot of bouncing it needs to do. I see my doctor next week; I am really hoping I don’t have to get jabbed with a needle but I am guessing there will be blood work involved, then its on to the scans and tests to make sure everyone is happy with the results. I am very happy I am done with treatment but it’s a very cautious type of joy. I need to hear the doctor say, “Looking at the results we are good for now”. I did learn that part of my life for the next 4 to 5 years will getting a CT scan of my chest, abdomen and pelvis every 3 months; which kind of sucks because they poke me and pump this chemical inside me that gives you the sensation that you are peeing yourself, a very weird feeling. But that is better than chemo so I’m not going to complain; I can live with a poke every 3 months if I have to.

During my last treatment there was a lot of real talk about what happens if the cancer comes back and how it is common and it can still be beaten. It was something I didn’t want to hear or think about but knew it had to be said. Honestly, this cancer is not something I can just put out of my mind. It’s pretty much been my only focus for the past several months. The thought of it coming back is something I need to mentally prepare for and I honestly don’t know how to do that right now. I assume it will come to me and I will learn how to deal with it just like I’ve learned to deal with a lot of things I didn’t think I would have to worry about, at least not at this age. Right now I am looking forward to dropping cancer down a few priorities in my life and having other things to deal with.

Thanks again to everyone who has stuck by my side and my family’s while we went through this. I will never be able to repay the love and affection that was showered upon us; it will never be forgotten. The posts are going to slow down, I will let everyone know the results from all my tests to really put some closure on this. When I get running full steam again, I might start posting general crap again like I did before and will try to keep including helpful geek tips to all my friends and family.

Thanks again for being here for me.

Well, I started my 3rd and final cycle of chemo today and we are in the home stretch. I am on my full week this week, which means everyday for 5 days then it’s only a matter of 2 more quick treatments and I am done, hopefully. There will probably be some more testing when all the treatments are done to figure out if I am indeed “good” for now but I have no reason to think I won’t be. My blood work came back good today and everything is low but that’s to be expected. I am really getting excited about moving back to normal everyday life. I miss my friends, I miss playing baseball, I miss playing with Emily and Alyssa, I miss work (if you can believe it), I miss feeling good, and I miss my hair, what little I had. I’m looking forward to missing the doctors and nurses (as wonderful as they are) and more importantly I am really looking forward to not getting jabbed by a needle every couple of days. I am trying not to get too far ahead of myself; there is still a lot that needs to get done but damn, I can’t help but think about normal life again. I hope posting my progress here has helped everyone keep up to date about how I am doing but I am looking forward to not talking about it every day.
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In the morning, fever all through the night! You know how the song goes, and that’s what landed me back in the hospital. No, not my singing but a fever. In all honesty, I was probably no sicker than your normal person with the flu but because of my condition, red flags went flying up all over the place. I had been feeling bad and getting progressively worse everyday starting about a week ago. Then Saturday night I got a fever and the chills. Funny how you get those two things together, physically you body temp is too high but you feel like you are freezing. Bek called the doc, the doc sent me to the emergency room, and that was all they wrote.

I tell ya, the one thing I can’t complain about is the level of care I am getting. At every turn the Scripts Health Care System and all the doctors seem to really go above and beyond to make sure they are covering all the bases with me and giving me the best care there is. Now again, if I didn’t have cancer, I’m sure it would have been one of those normal situations where they would have given me some antibiotics, and told me to drink plenty of fluids and get lots of rest; but I do have cancer and these guys where pretty hell bent on figuring out what was causing the fever. I ended up staying in the hospital Saturday night and Sunday night, getting x-rayed, CAT scanned (twice), and having an entire battery of tests. Although, I still can’t figure out why 4:30 AM seems to be the best time of day to weigh me and draw blood; that just seems mean. It took a lot of talking to finally convince them to let me go home late Monday. They never really figured out conclusively what was causing the fever, but since I had a normal temperature all day Monday and didn’t get the chills, they decided I could go home.

Not only did they let me come home but they also let me stay on schedule with my chemo treatments instead of delaying them. This is real nice being how I am so close to done. I would hate to have to tack on another week to that. So I am feeling better and we are back on track with treatment.

Or is it, two steps forward, one step back. Progress is being made but we’ve had some setbacks. Eric was admitted to Scripps Green last night with fever and chills. They know he must have an infection somewhere but at this point, they don’t know where. They’ve run labs and did a CT scan and ultrasound. He’ll be there until tomorrow at least. I’ll keep everyone updated as much as I can. Bek

One more treatment and I’m finished with Cycle2 and moving on to Cycle3 and hopefully my final Cycle. Heard a lot of the phrase “cumulative effects” this past week. My full week hit me a little harder than Cycle1 and over the weekend I was probably physically lower feeling than I have been since my actual surgeries. Hair loss is fun and spreading and I have a lovely rash that now makes it so I don’t only feel like a sick heroin addict but I kind of look like one too. It’s a nice rounded look. Bruises, punctures, and red little dots litter my arm which struggles to hold on it its hair. One little fact that is always fun to show people is how the chemo burns the blood vessels and leaves the dull browns streaks on my arm. Hey, I told you guys I would be honest and let you know what I was going through, for better or worse.

Today was a better day although I did have to get my nasty treatment today and that usually hits me the next day or so. Besides that everything is moving along. As nice as it was to have a free week a couple of weeks ago, I really want to get into Cycle3 and get it done. So let’s hope there is nothing to slow down that process.

My Dad is doing much better. He got his staples out and is moving around more, which is great to hear. Bek’s Dad in Alabama is still OK. Which was nice to hear. Besides that everything is moving on. Girls are doing great in school and enjoying their new teachers.

Oh and one more thing, turns out one of my nieces decided to tie the knot. Kristine got married to a young gentleman today and she is now Kristine Harvard. I felt bad her Mom (my sister) was out here taking care of me while this was happening but I guess it couldn’t be avoided. You know young people when they are in love there is no reasoning with them. I believe the ceremony was a simple Justice of the Peace type of thing with a full wedding to follow.

Not much to talk about really just wanted to let everyone know how its going. It’s mid-week and the long chemo days are starting to wear on me. But this is typical. I was feeling so good over this past weekend but I knew it couldn’t last.

My Dad seems to be doing well. Healing can be a long process. Bek’s Dad seems to have dodged the major wrath of the latest hurricane down in the south. He said there was a lot of wind but everything held together. Happy to hear that.

Thanks for all the emails and keep them coming. There is nothing nice than coming home from a day of chemo and reading emails or comments on the website, it is a real pick me up.

OK I started the second cycle of chemo today and I have a tube sticking out of my arm once again. Once again it sucks. But let’s take you back a little to last Friday. My Dad made it home from the hospital and is doing well. He is having some issues with adjusting to the handicapped role and always feeling bad and not being able too do much but I promised him that if he took care of himself it would all get better really quick. Also on Friday I made an appearance at my work and that was something I really needed to do. Didn’t realize how much I needed it until I showed up and started seeing people. I felt kind of bad because people where thinking I was done and back to work and I had to tell them not yet but I was working on it. Understand, I hadn’t had any chemo since early the previous week and with the exception of the 12-hour round trip I to Phoenix to see my Dad, I was feeling physically great. Had some minor muscle soreness from my surgery but not chemo related. I was fatigued while I was out there but that was easy enough to take care of with sleep. By Friday, Saturday and Sunday I was feeling really, really good. I even took a meeting with the Baseball League Saturday and caught my old team playing a practice game on Sunday. Honestly, by Sunday it took all the common sense I could think of not to grab my uniform and try to get in a couple of innings with a couple at bats. I didn’t, but I felt like I could have. Much like heading into work on Friday, it was great to see a lot of guys I haven’t seen in a long time on the baseball field.

School is going great for the PowerPuff twins as my friend in Atlanta likes to call them. One of the girls is getting very tired about her walk across campus but I think she’ll get used to it.

Heard an interesting story about my wife’s brother. Seems like he was bit by an alligator in North Carolina. I guess he didn’t taste too good because he only ended up with a couple of small puncture holes in his foot. But the big concern now is Bek’s Dad and Step Mother in Alabama. As I type this email a rather nasty hurricane is headed their way.

I do have a strong recommendation to my other family members who have seem to avoided the various series of unfortunate events such as cancer, aneurysm, blown out knees, animal attacks, or deadly take-your-ass-out-of-Kansas weather. My advice to those of you who are left: RUN, HIDE, BREAD, MILK, and TOILET PAPER, and lock yourselves in a cellar somewhere. Obviously one of us pissed God off and he is trying to get rid of us in his cute “I act in mysterious ways”. My ass, I’ll bring him up on charges. If you happen to have built an ARK it might be a good time to jump on it and row far, far away. After 40 days and 40 nights if any of us are still around we will get word to you I promise.

OK, obviously my medication is kicking in and I should probably go lay down for awhile. Thanks for listening to the rant. I’m sure there will be more to come.

Well, saw the doctor today and my blood work is looking much, much better. This means I resume my chemo next week with my full week of treatment. It sucks, but means at the end if the week I will only have one more full week to get through.

The girls started school today and love their respective classes. They are separated this year and are, in fact, completely across campus from each other. They each have enough familiar faces in their classes to make them happy.

Talked to my Dad today and he is sounding great. He was really itching for my Mom to show up so he could go for a walk outside. I really hope it wasn’t to smoke a cigarette but I know it probably was. Anyway, to hear him talk it was sounding pretty promising that they might be sending him home this weekend. It was a real bullet he dodged, but all he has to do now is recover.

That’s about it for now.